it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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