I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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