I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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