Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize