Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Never underestimate the power of titties
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