Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
