I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
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I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
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It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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