I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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