was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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