i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
