"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize