I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
