are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
