you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize