You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
