hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
