Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
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When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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