It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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