I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
