Whod you bang
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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