what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
