No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
