alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My vagina is very pro this idea
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
