I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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