I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
