The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
