drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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