Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Randomize
