; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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