i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
