Just fell off a train. Bad.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize