and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
