If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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