Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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