there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Randomize
