you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
