so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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