Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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