They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
These tits shall not be calmed
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
