Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize