the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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