I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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