OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize