Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
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We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
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I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..