Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  That's the best idea I've heard all day.

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  (248): Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls. (1-248): That's the best idea I've heard all day. http://tfl.nu/w1qi
  Replies (30) Good night (9186) Bad night (2764)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.

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  (913): his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up. http://tfl.nu/i0an
  Replies (21) Good night (1102) Bad night (8075)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?

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  (865): What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"? http://tfl.nu/h7i9
  Replies (11) Good night (2452) Bad night (1819)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant

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  (604): With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant http://tfl.nu/nhig
  Replies (5) Good night (635) Bad night (1264)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.

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  (785): Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose. http://tfl.nu/r1ga
  Replies (5) Good night (631) Bad night (1455)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.

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  (781): Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/mycr
  Replies (9) Good night (2152) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.

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  (978): Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on. http://tfl.nu/i5sb
  Replies (2) Good night (1018) Bad night (420)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.

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  (702): The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it. http://tfl.nu/gqru
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (508)
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  (310): View more from California

  When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.

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  (310): When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs. http://tfl.nu/mv4h
  Replies (0) Good night (1102) Bad night (343)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Locking that text forever.

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  (503): I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt? (1-503): Locking that text forever. http://tfl.nu/8ooh
  Replies (0) Good night (882) Bad night (434)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket

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  (+44): you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket http://tfl.nu/sq21
  Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (376)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."

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  (+61): I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows." http://tfl.nu/omr4
  Replies (4) Good night (1388) Bad night (369)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny

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  (201): I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny http://tfl.nu/83h3
  Replies (2) Good night (519) Bad night (333)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color

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  (678): So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color http://tfl.nu/9bip
  Replies (0) Good night (739) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework

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  (412): I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework http://tfl.nu/y1ir
  Replies (3) Good night (325) Bad night (210)

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