Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

I faked an abortion last night.

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(914): I faked an abortion last night. http://tfl.nu/q8tt

Replies (20) Good night (721) Bad night (2742)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie

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(973): Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie http://tfl.nu/ez65

Replies (12) Good night (2468) Bad night (715)
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(503): View more from Oregon

can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?

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(503): can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone? http://tfl.nu/oqh6

Replies (33) Good night (880) Bad night (13161)
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(330): View more from Ohio

He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"

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(330): He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits" http://tfl.nu/f8ma

Replies (15) Good night (4578) Bad night (1763)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.

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(612): I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills. http://tfl.nu/7aj5

Replies (52) Good night (6482) Bad night (3526)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'

(973): View more from New Jersey

Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.

(229): View more from Georgia

Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?

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(973): He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass' (973): Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic. (229): Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom? http://tfl.nu/xp9a

Replies (9) Good night (4058) Bad night (938)
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(404): View more from Georgia

like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.

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(404): like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game. http://tfl.nu/v9p4

Replies (4) Good night (1996) Bad night (821)
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(916): View more from California

You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.

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(916): You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito. http://tfl.nu/1uk0

Replies (8) Good night (2108) Bad night (546)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.

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(802): I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me. http://tfl.nu/liob

Replies (4) Good night (1676) Bad night (1262)
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(847): View more from Illinois

When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.

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(847): When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody. http://tfl.nu/5cds

Replies (3) Good night (1773) Bad night (508)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?

(1-262): View more from Wisconsin

Yupp. And someone's bleeding

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(262): And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right? (1-262): Yupp. And someone's bleeding http://tfl.nu/ez4o

Replies (1) Good night (1111) Bad night (382)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.

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(+44): I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together. http://tfl.nu/fdbr

Replies (5) Good night (1523) Bad night (508)
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(206): View more from Washington

She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me

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(206): She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me http://tfl.nu/zp1n

Replies (11) Good night (2167) Bad night (481)
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(614): View more from Ohio

TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG

(1-614): View more from Ohio

HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS

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(614): TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG (1-614): HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS http://tfl.nu/fp5t

Replies (10) Good night (1602) Bad night (703)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again

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(228): I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again http://tfl.nu/bu4d

Replies (2) Good night (728) Bad night (256)

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