just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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