I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
