No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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