he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
17 year olds will be the death of me.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
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