His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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