No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
