ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
