Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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