high people should be assigned attendants
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
