Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
