Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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