So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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