You really coming over, don't trick.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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