I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
These tits shall not be calmed
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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