Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
They have beer where we have blood.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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