I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
